Living without regret?
Living without regrets sounds ideal, but for many it is hard to achieve and in the extreme may not be desirable. Yet, if properly managed living without regrets becomes a powerful psychological tool used by many champion athletes and others. We often hear great athletes or highly successful people outside of sport say “I have no regrets.” How does this actually work? Is such a state truly possible? Most importantly, is it useful?
However, there is a nuance. To simply say: “I have no regrets” can also mask denial. To never second guess in someways denies our humanity. It is human to also reflect and to re-evaluate. Different paths might produce different outcomes and that is part of the learning process.
The pursuit of Olympic Gold or the top of the podium in a World Cup ski race, according to my research requires the alignment of 11 different factors. It is a very challenging and demanding process. During one of my research interviews one of the very best ski racers in a generation told me that he did not want his personal story to be the reason for a young person to become a ski racer and to pursue victory at any cost. In other words to do what he had done required required that there be no other ambitions. No secondary pursuits or divided attention. No interests other than to become the best in the world. Thus, to choose such a path was a personal decision and not one he believed should be romanticized.
Champions do not wonder aimlessly to the top. They have a process or a system in place to get them to the top. A process that is deliberately built and honed during the pre-season or even over many seasons. It is changed when results are not trending in the right direction. This is the first secret that the top athletes in the world use in order to win. They have a decision making framework in place.
Elite performers reduce or eliminate regret because they have a system in place that allows them to make the best possible decisions in each moment with all available information. Decisions that emerge from a disciplined process and not fear or ego reduce greatly if not entirely the emotionally draining power of regret.
Thus, is living without regret a state of mind or is it the byproduct of a disciplined process? Ultimately, to conclude that the greatest ever in sport have absolutely no regrets would suggest that they are not human. Instead, for the best in the world regret becomes data and feedback used to refine their system.
Athletes still experience disappointment, but because they have a system in place their decisions are not random or reactive. Undisciplined decision making is the real enemy and the basis for the type of regret that is not productive. Champions focus on the process and a system that when followed leaves very little room for regret. What is your process?